Episode 18 — You Can’t Support Everyone: Boundaries, Burnout, and Being the VA Who Lasts

Hey friends, and welcome back to Step Away From The Table: Beyond The Table — the podcast for virtual assistants who work behind the scenes in the grooming industry… and are ready to stop lighting themselves on fire to keep everyone else warm. I’m your host, River Lee, and today’s episode is one I wish someone had handed me years ago. Because we’re talking about something no one warns you about when you become a VA: 👉 You can’t support everyone. 👉 And trying to will burn you out faster than the workload ever could. This episode is especially for you if: You feel emotionally exhausted after client conversations You’re “the calm one” when groomers are spiraling You take on stress that technically isn’t yours Or you’re starting to wonder if this career is sustainable long-term Let’s talk about emotional labor, boundaries, and being a VA who actually lasts. Let’s say this out loud: Being a VA in the grooming industry is not just admin work. You’re not just: Scheduling Answering emails Posting on social Managing systems You are often: Translating stressed messages Holding space for overwhelmed business owners De-escalating emotional situations Absorbing panic, frustration, and burnout that didn’t start with you Groomers are: Physically exhausted Emotionally drained Often undercharging and overworking Usually in the middle of shavedown season chaos And guess who they vent to? You. Not because they’re bad people — but because you feel safe. Here’s the problem: When emotional labor isn’t acknowledged, it turns into silent burnout. A lot of VAs struggle here because: You care You want to do a good job You don’t want to disappoint anyone You don’t want to be “difficult” So you: Answer messages outside your hours Fix problems that aren’t yours to fix Take on tasks you weren’t hired for Become the emotional shock absorber Let me be very clear: 👉 Over-functioning is not professionalism. 👉 It’s self-abandonment dressed up as being helpful. If you are: Constantly anticipating needs Cleaning up emotional messes Managing feelings instead of tasks You are doing unpaid labor. And eventually, resentment follows. Here’s the reframe I want you to sit with: Boundaries are not walls. They are job descriptions. Healthy boundaries sound like: “That’s outside my scope, but here’s what I can do.” “I’ll respond to that during my scheduled hours.” “I can help with systems, not emotional processing.” “That’s a decision you’ll need to make — I can support once it’s made.” Boundaries protect: Your energy Your clarity Your professionalism Your longevity in this work And guess what? The right clients respect them. The ones who don’t? They were never sustainable anyway. This is the difference between: Being a professional support And being an emotional sponge Here’s how you stay on the healthy side: 1. Stay in your lane You manage systems — not emotions. 2. Don’t rush to rescue Silence does not mean failure. 3. Use neutral language Professional ≠ cold. Professional = grounded. 4. Detach from outcomes You can do everything right and still not control the result. And this one is important: 👉 You are allowed to care without carrying. The goal isn’t to be the most available VA. The goal is to be the VA who: Isn’t burnt out in 6 months Isn’t resentful Isn’t constantly questioning their worth Can actually grow their career Sustainability looks like: Clear scopes Clear hours Clear expectations Clear emotional boundaries You don’t have to support everyone. You just have to support the right people, the right way. If this episode hit a little close to home, I want you to know something: You’re not doing it wrong. You’re just doing too much without protection. And that’s exactly why I’m so excited to share that we’ve officially released a new and improved Virtual Groomer’s Assistant Fundamentals — version 2.0. This course was rebuilt with sustainability in mind. Not just how to be a VA in the grooming industry — but how to do this work without burning out, over-functioning, or absorbing stress that isn’t yours. Inside Virtual Groomer’s Assistant Fundamentals 2.0, we focus on: Clarifying your role and scope as a VA Building professional boundaries that actually stick Understanding what is and is not your responsibility Supporting groomers without becoming their emotional safety net And creating systems that protect your time, energy, and longevity If you’re ready to stop white-knuckling this career and start building something that feels stable, professional, and sustainable — You can find the Virtual Groomer’s Assistant Fundamentals 2.0 course at stepawayfromthetable.com/va And as always — step away from the table, Look at the bigger picture, and remember: You deserve a career that supports you, too. I’ll see you next time.